• me: *names child butter*
  • me: *accidently brings home wrong child*
  • me: i can't believe it's not butter

sharpayevons:

"At least you love me." I say to my pet as I hold them against my chest as they try to get away

bombing:

wigglethatbutt:

bombing:

just had a dream where someone stole my socks and framed me for murder using the dna on them

i dreamt i stole someones socks omg

i’m calling the police